LilBella112
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Is this good enough for a #1 body paragraph? Please read it through. Will give brainliest to someone who answers first!

At the beginning of this story, Moon meets a girl who fell out of a water tower. He couldn't even be sure of that. Even though it didn’t matter how many nights Honey would spend talking about the moon she once lost or him passing on fables of his own, often sparked by an ounce of truth, people would remember them as a fairytale. This is the story that people would tell: After seeing the sight of the girl falling out of the water tower, Moon knelt behind her and softly spoke to her no one else would. Feeling something, Moon knew then he couldn't leave her alone. He decides to take her home like a stray cat. But this fairytale wouldn’t mention the Bonner sisters or how Honey was scared of pumpkins. It wouldn’t mention how Moon and his mom were Pakistani or how Aracely, an aunt more than a neighbor was so surprisingly willing to offer Honey a room. It would also not mention how roses grew out of Honey’s wrist. But it would include how Moon got his name because of her. Because to the townspeople, he was not Sam or Samir, he was a no one. As the fairytale progresses, Honey realizes that anytime Moon was around, the petals would turn a dark shade of pink, similar to her favorite lipstick that she loves. Moon had always felt this way towards her, even though she was in a locked world, sealed off. Even though he’d given her every one he had, she had thousands of secrets, small but yet so shimmering. Neither one of them would speak of it until the time was right. And it was never the right time.

Answer :

Answer:

Nice paragraph! Hey will u please follow me! Will offer some thanks! Keep ur promise friend

daisy29847
The sentence ‘..she one lost or him’ it doesn’t make sense
You could rewrite it as “Even though it didn’t matter how many nights Honey would spend taking about the moon she once lost. Fables of his own often sparked by an ounce of truth…”

Your sentence didn’t make sense, could rewrite it as
Moon knelt beside her and softly spoke to her ‘like no one else had done’

You don’t need ‘surprisingly willing’ remove surprisingly

It would also not mention.. doesn’t make sense
Try “ the story wouldn’t mention how roses grew from her wrists’

Your last sentence ‘ and was never the right time’
Rewrite it as ‘ Never was the right time’

Hope this helps. Other than these minor sentences. Very good!

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